Sadly though, Nintendo doesn't make any of these terrible Super Mario rip-offs on the iPhone. Most of these have since been altered or removed entirely from the App store since their initial slips past Apple security, but here we have preserved them as they originally appeared in all of their awful, awful glory.
Editor's Note: Every single one of the titles below are (or at least were) real, actual games that hit the iOS App Store.
3D Cartoon Land Safari
You see, the way copyright law works is that if you change only one detail of a product you've completely stolen, nobody can ever sue you. Right?
A Kaizo World
"AVOID DON'T BUY DODGE THIS GAME TO SAVING A DOLLAR"
Barrels!
Cloud Run
Game Guy
Remember when classic retro handheld systems had the phrase "Classic Retro Handheld System" on them?
Mole Kart
Instead of a blue shell, why not throw your credit card?
Monino
How many "lifes" have been wasted playing this shameless rip-off?
Otaku Dash
Yes, that's a pile of sh*t. On top of the pile of sh*t that is this game. So basically this game has pile of sh*t inside a pile of sh*t. Sh*t.
Super Daddio
This game runs at more frames per second than Mario 64, hence it's better so therefore checkmate.
Super Jump World
At least this one manages to ditch the anti-European stereotypes inherent in the actual Mario games. Oh wait, this one is just racist against the Irish.
Super World Adventures
Why play as Mario when there's a farmer who just realized how high he was?
Tommy's World
Wait, who the f*ck is Tommy?!?
Ultra Dario
When there's no more Mega Barrio, Duper Marlo and Superb Sargento in hell, the Ultra Dario will walk the earth.
Brian Altano and Mike Drucker are hopefully much more fun and original than any of these terrible clones when they write IGN's premier comedy news show, Up At Noon. Follow them on Twitter at @agentbizzle and @MikeDrucker.