Man Requires Testicular Surgery After Being Run Over By Girlfriend

By Chuck Sudo in News on Dec 19, 2012 2:45PM

Christine A. Meyers (Photo courtesy Cook County Sheriff's Department.)

A Tinley Park Man was put back together again, Humpty Dumpty style, after he was allegedly run over by his girlfriend, suffered burns to his chest and back and required surgery after having skin torn off his scrotum.

Let’s see how this case study in how the other half lives started, shall we? Christine A. Meyers, 23, of Tinley Park picked up her 21-year-old boyfriend from a bar Dec. 14 and promptly began arguing with him. When they arrived at their home at the 17700 block of South Ridgeland Avenue, the boyfriend laid down in front of the car.

Meyers, who has a history of driving offenses, ran him over, which we’re sure the boyfriend didn’t see coming. But that isn’t the story the boyfriend originally told police. He claimed he was walking home from a bar after a night of drinking when he was hit by a passing car and dragged down the road, but didn’t remember any other details of the accident and didn’t want to press charges if the driver was caught. We can understand why he made up a story that’s less emasculating than “I dared my girlfriend to run over my dumb ass and she complied.”

Now that your sphincters have stopped clenching, gentlemen, let’s see what happened after the boyfriend told the truth. Meyers was charged with one count of felony aggravated domestic battery and had her bond set at $100,000. Meyers’ attorney, Tom Ost, asked Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr. to set her bail at $6,000, meaning she would only need $600 to leave jail. An incredulous Bourgeois replied, “Are you serious?”

If there's a bright side to this story, we would still trust Meyers behind the wheel of a car over, say, Amanda Bynes.