the ones left behind —

NSA leaker’s girlfriend blogged about “feeling alone” when he left

Snowden's girlfriend blogged playing chess, "deep conversations" while gardening.

Twenty-nine-year-old Edward Snowden, source of the leaked NSA documents, has reportedly checked out of his Hong Kong hotel room and is nowhere to be found. Yesterday, he was formally terminated by his employer Booz Allen Hamilton, for "violations of the firm's code of ethics and firm policy."

Meanwhile, the media have discovered the writings of the woman closest to Snowden: his girlfriend, identified as Lindsay Mills, a 28-year-old former ballet dancer who currently reportedly works with the Waikiki Acrobatic Troupe. The reports are based on the discovery of Mills' blog, entitled "Adventures of a world-traveling, pole-dancing superhero." Mills was first identified by the television show "Inside Edition."

Her blog has since been taken down, but The Guardian reports that her last entry, dated the day after Snowden revealed himself, read, "I don't know what will happen from here. I don't know how to feel normal. My world has opened and closed all at once. Leaving me lost at sea without a compass... at the moment all I can feel is alone.

The blog doesn't mention Edward Snowden by name, but it refers to "E." They have been together since 2009, first in Baltimore, then in Hawaii.

Mills and her boyfriend "E" in their new apartment in Hawaii, April 2012.
Mills and her boyfriend "E" in their new apartment in Hawaii, April 2012.

The Guardian highlighted more apparent mentions of Snowden:

On 30 July last year, Mills wrote: "For those that have forgotten, I moved to Hawaii to continue my relationship with E. It has been quite an up-and-down emotional rollercoaster since the moment I stepped off the plane."

The couple seem to have been in a serious and stable relationship. "I looked over at E and smiled," Mills wrote after a day tending to their yard. "This was the most adult, boring moment I've had ever. I felt grown-up, suburban, and oddly content."

But they seem to have had a lot of fun, too.

"Friday night I was able to finally introduce E to my skeptical friends (they weren't quite sure E existed)," Mills wrote a few months later.

"We lovingly crammed a large group into a small corner of a delicious Japanese restaurant and filled our bellies with sushi, tempura, and good conversation."

Mills describes games of chess with Snowden, and discussions about brain functions, philosophy, current affairs. "Whenever E and I take time to attack our unruly yard, we end up having deep conversations," she remarked in one post.

Her blog wasn't particularly political. In an October blog update, she posted a picture of herself wearing a V for Vendetta mask, Anonymous-style, with the caption: "All they want is our souls." She took a stand against SOPA on Twitter in January 2012, saying she felt "the need to tell everyone I know that SOPA is destructive to our Internet."

Mills has continued to be active on Twitter as @lsjourneys, an account she hasn't yet shut down. Yesterday, she published an Instagram photo featuring a self-portrait of herself holding a globe. "I have lost my compass and find myself adrift in a sea of chaos," Mills wrote in the caption. Her last tweet is dated yesterday, and reads, "To delete or not to delete. That is the question."

She apparently chose "delete," as her blog disappeared sometime yesterday.

In her last message on Monday, she wrote, "As I type this on my tear-streaked keyboard I'm reflecting on all the faces that have graced my path. The ones I laughed with. The ones I've held. The one I've grown to love the most. And the ones I never got to bid adieu."

In interviews, Snowden said he left his girlfriend abruptly without telling her his destination.

Update: a link to Mills' instagram account has been removed as its contents were not wholly "safe for work."

Channel Ars Technica